Ignorant Slut on Memory Lane
by Harper the Fox, author of Wandering Lust
A new product
Recently, DirtyFolk.com started carrying an item called “DeWalt DWP611 Replacement Carbon Brush #A27343.” I had to look it up, because I only have the faintest idea what it is or what it does. It has something to do with the CNC which is used for the burning and carving of our wood and acrylic products. The CNC has a router, and something inside the router which seems to need replacing now and then. I couldn’t begin to tell you where, or how.
This highlights the knowledge and mastery that Jeff @ButtBeats brings to the table. But let me rewind.
How we met Jeff
Back in 2013, I was a new college grad. I had been dating my boyfriend, Max, for a couple of years. We had a grand plan to use live sex webcamming to fuel cross-country travels, and we called it #FuckingIn50.
During those travels, I made a bunch of extremely questionable decisions. Such as staying in and camming from the homes of people from the internet we didn’t know at ALL. In a huge collection of very mixed experiences… we found Jeff.
He wasn’t a watcher of sex webcams, he was a kinkster. We found him on Fetlife. He used a small collection of shop tools to make gorgeous spanking paddles for other kinksters in Boise. He welded fucking machines and suspension rigs. He was, and is fascinating.
Max and I traveled all over the United states– twice. We lived out of two different vans. We had passionate sex, tumultuous fights, and completely overhauled how we think about ourselves and the world. Over time, the itch to wander began to subside, and we began to appreciate stability and responsibility.
Which is when, in a terrifying act of God (and a story for another day), we found ourselves needing a friend– and we found ourselves back at Jeff’s.
Verified genius
Jeff is one of the few true geniuses I have met. If you need something designed and built, voice the idea, and give him about 10 seconds: he probably already has it drawn up in his mind, with all the component steps and pieces needed. Before I met Jeff, I didn’t exactly realize there were different kinds of screw. I was pretty proud that I knew the difference between phillips and flathead screwdrivers.
These days, Jeff has an incredible workshop. In a section of insulated garage, Jeff has a CNC carving machine which can either mill with a router and bits or burn with a laser. He has some of the best software in the world to create designs, and is plugged into communities of others who work with these machines too. He has meticulously organized drawers full of router bits– this one is for going through dense hardwood quickly, this one is for extremely detailed designs, this one is for plastic, this one is for multi-purpose carves, this one is for….
When something breaks, Jeff knows how to fix it, or he figures it out within a day. If a carve looks ambiguously strange, Jeff tightens a belt here, loosens a knob there, checks the temperature of the room, and, lo and behold! It’s perfect again.
Today
We may not be related, but at this point, Jeff is family. Remember that boyfriend I was travelling with, Max? Well, he and I have been together for almost a decade now. When Max and I have children, they will grow up with Grandpa Jeff. I hope that he will teach them about his shop from a young age. I hope that, when my babies are teenagers, they will know exactly what a Dewalt611 Hoody-doody-doober Replacement Thingey #Aweoijlksdjflnv is.
-Harper the Fox