My house is nearby, but I don’t know where
by Harper the Fox, author of Wandering Lust
Everyone– especially those who work for themselves– needs motivation. Something which will compel you to get out of bed in the morning, even when you don’t quite feel like it. Something to keep you puzzling through the tricky problems in your work day, doing your best and making progress.
My work involves many different things, but nearly every day, I will take most of my clothes off and broadcast live to the world and try to hustle tips from interested and horny people. The job is somewhat strange, but I like it. Often, I LOVE it. I always try to cultivate gratitude for the opportunities I have, and sometimes gratitude overwhelms me.
So, why do I do what I do? What is my motivation, my “why”? Well, these days, it’s because I want a house.
As I drive across the landscapes of Idaho, my mind is overcome with wonder. Where, in these valleys and foothills, is my house? Where will my future babies learn what dandelions are? Where will my pack of dogs run and play? Maybe this house will be the location of a quiet backyard wedding for me and my long-term partner, Max.
I have many visions. A porch where I will drink my morning coffee. An expansive yard, where my family (human and furry) will play. Beautiful sunrises and sunsets. A bedroom where my parents can come visit.
The hunt has begun. I have seen many houses now that, for one reason or another, are not my house. And for now, the hunt is paused. Between now and January 1st, I am working my big ol’ butt off to bank as much cash as possible, and qualify for some great loans. 2020: that is the year I believe I will find my house. As October turns rusty red, as winds whip chilly through the treasure valley, as daylight shrinks slowly away, “house” will be the word which drives me.
I may not know where it is yet– but I’m on my way home.
-Harper the Fox