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Are you there, God? It’s me, Pornstar

by Max Mooseman, author of Bastard! A Mushroom Trip

   Midnight strikes at the end of a cool fall Sunday and my work week starts. Harper and I decided several months ago to honor the Sabbath each week. No business is allowed during the 24 hours of every Sunday. During those hours we clean our studio, reflect on the week, cook, relax and give thanks to God for all our blessings. Once the clock strikes midnight on Monday we get back to shaking our asses, writing dirty jokes and pretending to be brother and sister while screwing each others brains out. 

   I am a sexually depraved sort. I love dark humor and tales of horrific crimes. I am also a deeply empathetic person who loves my fellow man and prays even for my enemies to find peace. I was an avowed atheist who scorned God and laughed at those who pray for most of my years on earth. Can God love someone like me? I am unsure. I think so. Something I am sure of is that I can love God regardless of how he feels about me. I am also sure that believing in God and loving him and being grateful for all he has blessed me with feels so very good.

   Aside from honoring the Sabbath I have another consistent tribute to God I have taken on as an at least daily ritual. I say aloud, “God bless this day and thank you God for giving me another one.” Then I ask God to bless a few specific souls. I have frequent flier souls I ask to be blessed but I mix in whoever comes to mind whether they be friend or foe. 

   Another Sabbath is over. Another week of taking off my pants and waggling my God-given package around for the entertainment of others is upon me. God bless this day and thank you God for giving me another one. And God bless you, my reader. Let’s have a great week.


-Max Mooseman

Max Mooseman’s Dirty Folk Products:

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